Taking a break from our trip to just rant... seriously I just need to RANT...
Before you go any farther, please know that this is not aimed at anyone in particular, this is a sore spot for me and comes at me from all directions. Don't feel like you need to comment, you don't have to, I just really needed to get this off my chest and out of my heart before the anger becomes too much.
I have one child, that's a huge blessing, HE is a huge blessing.
I know that it looks like smooth sailing with just one... only one to load into the car, only one kiddo's schedule to look after, only one to get bathed... but guess what it's not always easy...
When you only have one you get the brunt of what a sibling would get, more arguments, more questions, more need to be entertained. You also have to detox them when they come home from Grandma's because she's let him do whatever he wanted, because he is the only one... know what that also means?... it means that HE doesn't have anyone to share those fun times with, no one to go over the memories with when he's all grown up. When we go, he'll be the one picking up the pieces, alone. I know because I'm an only too.
What I'm trying to say is... Don't tell me how you don't have time for things because you have two kids, or more. Don't constantly mention that it's so different when you have more than one kiddo. Don't say, "Oh you only have one, you wouldn't understand." IT HURTS, deep down inside, where I don't let most people go.
Those people are completely insensitive, Houston. Brendan was an "only" for 5-1/2 years and it is just as you described. Plus, the pain of secondary infertility can be overwhelming. Love and hugs to you, girlie! Focus on Saturday - we're going to have a blast!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Houston! I am the mother of an only child also, like you I was not able to be blessed with two. I'm just not good at pregnancies. I had a horrible miscarriage on my due date. I grew up with 5 siblings and that is also very hard...being the oldest I didn't get the attention I deserved...I grew up my dad's girl and now that he's gone I am lost without him. He was always there for me.
ReplyDeleteIt's really not fair to be judged by others who don't walk in your shoes. And throwing your children under the bus and using them as an excuse for not being able to accomplish things is unexcusable...plain and simple. There are advantages to having one child and there are disadvantages of having more than one child. So you see my friend..it works both ways. You are blessed either way!!
One child grows up to be independant, strong and effecient in so many ways. Very positive in this world we live in!
Can't wait to see you on Saturday! My good friend Marti says you're the bomb!!!
I heard such the same comments when we had one. People need to stop and think before they comment. Not realizing that their words in an off-handed remark can cut deeply is not an excuse. I apologize if I have ever made one of these comments...you are an awesome mom to an awesome kid and your family is just how God planned it. You guys are the best...and I am thankful to have you as a friend. Have a super fun time at your crop!! :-)
ReplyDeleteTeeeeeeeeeeeell me about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also get "It must be easier to handle her disabilities with her being the only child"
That grips my wick.
simply offering HUGE hugs and ♥. i'll miss seeing all of you on saturday.
ReplyDeleteWhy must we compare?????? Having children is a huge responsibilitie and a major labor task. So then, one or twenty???
ReplyDeleteIt IS different when you have two children to worry about. Hey, I did just one for three years. I know it isn't smooth sailing. However, add a second years later and it doesn't really equate to "smooth sailing."
More mouths to feed, more fighting, more manners and discipline to dish out. It is soooooo much more. Like math, one plus one equals two. OR MORE.
However, it doesn't make the "mothering" job less significant, just more tedious. But being a mother to one or to eight is quite the accomplishment. A gift from God and what we are heavenly blessed with. Moms shouldn't compete. It is not about one or two or twenty. Let's just focus on being Godly moms.
As your friend Debbie said....It's really not fair to be judged by others who don't walk in your shoes."