Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Road Trip Recap... Day 2... Vegas Baby


TEN THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT LAS VEGAS BEFORE YOU GO

10. Smoking is allowed everywhere, even in the ELEVATOR!!!


*Personal Experience* The Venetian is the only hotel we encountered where they pump some type of air freshener through the vents to cover the odor of smoke.
Oh and those people hacking in the casinos, don't worry they don't have TB, it's just that they've been smoking while gambling away their children's inheritance!

9. The four acre pool at the hotel will be filled within half an hour of opening, if you want a free chair, get in line early.

*Lounge Chair Tip* The chairs that do not cost $100 - $800 a pop are filled immediately... cop a squat in the sand and then start scanning the ten rows around you, wait until you see someone who is putting on their shoes and then pounce! This can take a bit but the relief your rear will feel when it's out of the scorching sand is worth it!

*Pool Time Tip #2* You can book an $800 cabana online, with a special pool package in the summers, for about $50-$100 more than your room fee. Look at it like you are really saving $700, and severe stress... trust me that little bit of money is worth it, I was kicking myself, with hot sandy feet, for not doing it!

8. Just because there are 6 elevators designated for floors 18-34, don't expect them all to work!

*Elevator Savvy* Get on the first one that opens, it doesn't matter which way it's going, just ride until you get to your floor. This is the only way you will ever survive the mobs you meet at the elevators every time. Wave at those who didn't figure that out as you go past them again!

7. The hotels never look as good in person.

*Reminder*
The angle of the camera used in shooting promotional photos is key!

6. Just because it's an attraction aimed at kids don't expect it to be smut free.

*WARNING* It may be the size of a baseball card, but that nude woman on the front isn't a short stop! Yes that's right they have stripper trading cards in Vegas and people leave them EVERYWHERE!

5. Take no notice of the Chef's name in the restaurant title... they all serve the same five entrees, with only a slight variation on the original.

*Savvy Dining Tip* Go to the place with the longest line, there is a reason for it... we discovered The Burger Bar in the Mandalay Bay Shoppes and it was truly the best food we had in Vegas.

4. Art can be found anywhere... even on The Strip.

***Don't Miss the Luxor's Titanic Exhibit or the masterpieces at the Bellagio***

5. Always check where the monorail you are riding goes!

*Person Experience* We boarded the monorail that took you from Mandalay Bay to The Luxor and Excalibur, as we jumped on a man yelled "Next stop Treasure Island" he was still riding when we got back on an hour later! Luckily for him there was a woman carrying a giant box of Krispy Kreme donuts who was also still on the monorail when we got back on, so he won't starve! Seriously, it only had three stops, didn't they notice?!

4. Don't expect to win big... it's not going to happen... aim to break even.

*Insider's Gambling Tip* The only place you'll make money is the penny slots... I am now $8 richer!

3. Just because your hotel room is beautifully decorated don't expect everything to work!

*WARNING* The great little flat screen you can see from the tub, it doesn't work, don't get out when wet and try to mess with it, you'll be in for a shock!

2. It's called "Sin City" for a reason.

Three things that proved this...

Women in full head covering gambling away in the High Roller Room.

Amish people driving a pick-up truck with a horse buggy in the back! No I'm not kidding.

A man regaling his friend with his tales of infidelity at the wave pool... thank God the kiddo was in the pool and not by the chairs where they were.

1. Keep your expectations low.

Remember this was all made by man, it doesn't hold a candle to the beautiful creations of God you'll see on the drive there.

10 comments:

  1. Great tips. (and funny). Have a great day!

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  2. This made me smile and giggle a little! I love Vegas...a great place to people watch!

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  3. hilareous review - thanks for the tip about the burger bar. we are going to vegas in July and will check it out.

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  4. Oh boy...you have me cracking up! Thank you!

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  5. Well, I think you've officially talked me out of vacationing in Vegas. I had heard all this from dh, but now with a second objective opinion, I think I can skip it.

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  6. lol...thanks for the review ;o)

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  7. i love your blogging - I can totally hear you saying those words.
    **you didnt write about habby labby**

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  8. omigosh...loved your commentary here! LOL!

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  9. I am sorry your trip is not the best. I used to live in Vegas and to truly enjoy it....stay off the STRIP. Locals never go there as it is exactly as you have stated. Mt. Charleston and Lake Meade are Grandtabulous and there are fun places that are KID friendly. Sam's Town is one for sure. There is also an old Ghost Town that has great things for children to enjoy. Vegas is better than the STRIP!

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